This blog entry is the result of countless hours of study surrounding politics and its effect on sports in the Russian Federation. Yesterday morning I woke up and found out that President Medvedev had blogged about a new sports fad. That's when my research team and I got down to the nitty-gritty of researching our national sport infatuations and their presidential sources.
It all began in 1989 with the fall of the Berlin Wall in Germany. One thing led to another, and before you knew it, Boris Yeltsin became the president of Russia and the former General Secretary of the Union of Soviet Socialistic Republics, Mikhael Gorbachev, began doing Pizza Hut commercials. My understanding is that up until that time, most Russians had never been personally involved in any sports except gymnastics, figure skating, dancing in too-toos as "swans", ice hockey, and boxing Sylvester Stallone. But with the birth of a new era, came a breath of fresh air with the introduction of tennis to the general Russian population. The mouthpiece of this new wave of individual sport (admittedly, sometimes also played in doubles) was none other than the first popularly elected president of the Russian Federation, Boris Yeltsin. At first, it wasn't so noticeable, but then it became less unnoticeable as more people started playing. That last sentence was just for giggles.
Some sports can not trace their popularity in Russia to Yeltsin's fondness of them:
Parents all across Russia's formerly 11 time zones began signing up their children for tennis lessons. This was all done in a no nonsense businesslike fashion as we all immediately understood that for our children to truly become powerful in Russia, it was important for them to have a developed backhand. Rates for court time and tennis lessons skyrocketed and demand for tennis racquets (why is spell check telling me that's wrong. "Racket" is an annoying noise or extortion of money from legitimate business people by threat or violence- which undoubtedly is a sport of its own in this nation) and short sport skirts shot through the roof. This was the same national craze that produced such powerful political movements as glasnost and Anna Kournikova (this claim requires additional citation for verification).
In unrelated news, it was around this same time that it was suggested that the World Cup of Baseball be played in Russia. However, this plan proved impossible, as it was soon discovered that although millions of baseball bats had been sold around Russia, not a single ball could be found.
As was widely reported, President Yeltsin became tired in 1999 and highly recommended that we all vote in Vladimir Putin. The public heartily agreed, naturally assuming that Mr. Putin would carry on in his predecessor's passion for the game formerly known as "lawn tennis". I mean, all that investment in lessons would assuredly now result in tennis savvy youth finding a future in the Party that was to become known as "United Russia".
At least that was what we all thought. But as it turned out, the "Winds of Change" did not stop blowing with the Scorpions and Mr. Putin had a mind of his own. In unrelated news, Mr. Putin began taking off his shirt on television all the time.
Some people might disapprove of a Head of State insisting on taking off his (or her, in the case of Angela Merkel) shirt all the time for television cameras. However, if I were a male type president and buff, like Mr. Putin, I would do the same thing. Because you have to admit, that's pretty awesome.
Sadly, I am not a Head of State. And when I take off my shirt, people start asking me if I've ever seen the movie "Austin Powers". Definitely, not material for the evening newscast.
But with Putin came skiing:
And judo:
I also think it's pretty awesome for a Head of State to show how awesome he is by displaying his judo skills to the general populace.
I am not exaggerating when I say that these two sports went absolutely nuts in popularity after we saw the president hit the powder and perform some body slams on the evening news.
Later on, Putin was no longer President and he suggested that we all vote for a man named President Dmitriy Medvedev. The Russian voting population heartily agreed with this recommendation and voted in President Dmitriy Medvedev. For president.
And the question on all of our minds was, what sport would he introduce to us?
I guess I was thinking of horse racing. Sadly, that idea had already been taken on by the now disgraced former mayor of Moscow, Yuri Luzhkov. And with President Dmitriy Medvedev recently heartily recommending that we all vote for a certain Mr. Putin for President in the upcoming elections, I think we were all left wondering which sport were we supposed to become enamored with?
President Medvedev was not without action during his tenure. Indeed he took away 2 of Russia's 11 time zones, thus making travel from Kaliningrad to the Pacific Ocean significantly shorter. He also changed the name of the police from militia to, er, police. Also, he took away daylight's saving time. I am not joking. If I could do these things I would do them just because I could. Because that is all truly awesome.
But what about Medvedev and sports? Well, President Medvedev put away all confusion about what sport we were all to pursue with yesterday's resounding advocacy of...
Wait, first I have to tell you this story. You see, I should have seen which way the wind was blowing this summer when I had the grand idea of renting a dacha. My new dacha neighbor and I quickly became friends. He was an athletic guy, a real lover of all kinds of sports. One day, however, he caught me a little off guard when he came from his back yard to my back yard and with a quiet confidence told me that "if I ever wanted to come over, he had a couple badminton racquets, and the two of us could play." I am ashamed to say that I didn't cover my facial expression in time. I tried to recover both our dignity by saying with authority that badminton is the fastest sport at the Summer Olympics. To which my neighbor replied, "But what about riflery?" Let's just say we both acted like that conversation never happened for the rest of the summer.
I don't have a problem with playing badminton. I love any kind of competition. However, my neighbor didn't have a net. And the thought of two grown men chasing around a shuttlecock with no competition somehow seemed strange to me. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Yes, you guessed it! We now know. Yesterday, we indeed received word from the Presidential sports headquarters that we are all to be playing badminton now. Here is the video. If you watch until 2:29 you will see Putin join in on our new national pastime (they play with a net as a competition, so no problems here). At 2:45 Mr. Putin is replaced by Mr. Putin's Badminton Stunt Double. I have taken the time not to translate any of Mr. Medvedev's speech about the history and qualities of badminton.
You know, it's really a lot of fun. And it kind of shows the "heart of Russia". I mean, can you imagine Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi playing a game of one-on-one for the television cameras and then giving a speech about its merits? Why not? Because your nation's politics are boring.
And for us, it looks like badminton for now and back to judo and skiing next spring.
It all began in 1989 with the fall of the Berlin Wall in Germany. One thing led to another, and before you knew it, Boris Yeltsin became the president of Russia and the former General Secretary of the Union of Soviet Socialistic Republics, Mikhael Gorbachev, began doing Pizza Hut commercials. My understanding is that up until that time, most Russians had never been personally involved in any sports except gymnastics, figure skating, dancing in too-toos as "swans", ice hockey, and boxing Sylvester Stallone. But with the birth of a new era, came a breath of fresh air with the introduction of tennis to the general Russian population. The mouthpiece of this new wave of individual sport (admittedly, sometimes also played in doubles) was none other than the first popularly elected president of the Russian Federation, Boris Yeltsin. At first, it wasn't so noticeable, but then it became less unnoticeable as more people started playing. That last sentence was just for giggles.
Some sports can not trace their popularity in Russia to Yeltsin's fondness of them:
Parents all across Russia's formerly 11 time zones began signing up their children for tennis lessons. This was all done in a no nonsense businesslike fashion as we all immediately understood that for our children to truly become powerful in Russia, it was important for them to have a developed backhand. Rates for court time and tennis lessons skyrocketed and demand for tennis racquets (why is spell check telling me that's wrong. "Racket" is an annoying noise or extortion of money from legitimate business people by threat or violence- which undoubtedly is a sport of its own in this nation) and short sport skirts shot through the roof. This was the same national craze that produced such powerful political movements as glasnost and Anna Kournikova (this claim requires additional citation for verification).
In unrelated news, it was around this same time that it was suggested that the World Cup of Baseball be played in Russia. However, this plan proved impossible, as it was soon discovered that although millions of baseball bats had been sold around Russia, not a single ball could be found.
As was widely reported, President Yeltsin became tired in 1999 and highly recommended that we all vote in Vladimir Putin. The public heartily agreed, naturally assuming that Mr. Putin would carry on in his predecessor's passion for the game formerly known as "lawn tennis". I mean, all that investment in lessons would assuredly now result in tennis savvy youth finding a future in the Party that was to become known as "United Russia".
At least that was what we all thought. But as it turned out, the "Winds of Change" did not stop blowing with the Scorpions and Mr. Putin had a mind of his own. In unrelated news, Mr. Putin began taking off his shirt on television all the time.
Some people might disapprove of a Head of State insisting on taking off his (or her, in the case of Angela Merkel) shirt all the time for television cameras. However, if I were a male type president and buff, like Mr. Putin, I would do the same thing. Because you have to admit, that's pretty awesome.
Sadly, I am not a Head of State. And when I take off my shirt, people start asking me if I've ever seen the movie "Austin Powers". Definitely, not material for the evening newscast.
But with Putin came skiing:
I also think it's pretty awesome for a Head of State to show how awesome he is by displaying his judo skills to the general populace.
I am not exaggerating when I say that these two sports went absolutely nuts in popularity after we saw the president hit the powder and perform some body slams on the evening news.
Later on, Putin was no longer President and he suggested that we all vote for a man named President Dmitriy Medvedev. The Russian voting population heartily agreed with this recommendation and voted in President Dmitriy Medvedev. For president.
And the question on all of our minds was, what sport would he introduce to us?
I guess I was thinking of horse racing. Sadly, that idea had already been taken on by the now disgraced former mayor of Moscow, Yuri Luzhkov. And with President Dmitriy Medvedev recently heartily recommending that we all vote for a certain Mr. Putin for President in the upcoming elections, I think we were all left wondering which sport were we supposed to become enamored with?
President Medvedev was not without action during his tenure. Indeed he took away 2 of Russia's 11 time zones, thus making travel from Kaliningrad to the Pacific Ocean significantly shorter. He also changed the name of the police from militia to, er, police. Also, he took away daylight's saving time. I am not joking. If I could do these things I would do them just because I could. Because that is all truly awesome.
But what about Medvedev and sports? Well, President Medvedev put away all confusion about what sport we were all to pursue with yesterday's resounding advocacy of...
Wait, first I have to tell you this story. You see, I should have seen which way the wind was blowing this summer when I had the grand idea of renting a dacha. My new dacha neighbor and I quickly became friends. He was an athletic guy, a real lover of all kinds of sports. One day, however, he caught me a little off guard when he came from his back yard to my back yard and with a quiet confidence told me that "if I ever wanted to come over, he had a couple badminton racquets, and the two of us could play." I am ashamed to say that I didn't cover my facial expression in time. I tried to recover both our dignity by saying with authority that badminton is the fastest sport at the Summer Olympics. To which my neighbor replied, "But what about riflery?" Let's just say we both acted like that conversation never happened for the rest of the summer.
I don't have a problem with playing badminton. I love any kind of competition. However, my neighbor didn't have a net. And the thought of two grown men chasing around a shuttlecock with no competition somehow seemed strange to me. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Yes, you guessed it! We now know. Yesterday, we indeed received word from the Presidential sports headquarters that we are all to be playing badminton now. Here is the video. If you watch until 2:29 you will see Putin join in on our new national pastime (they play with a net as a competition, so no problems here). At 2:45 Mr. Putin is replaced by Mr. Putin's Badminton Stunt Double. I have taken the time not to translate any of Mr. Medvedev's speech about the history and qualities of badminton.
You know, it's really a lot of fun. And it kind of shows the "heart of Russia". I mean, can you imagine Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi playing a game of one-on-one for the television cameras and then giving a speech about its merits? Why not? Because your nation's politics are boring.
And for us, it looks like badminton for now and back to judo and skiing next spring.
A new addition: a couple of days ago, Putin was seen playing hockey:
ReplyDeletehttp://rt.com/news/putin-ice-hockey-game-721/
Best article I have read on Putin in a long-while! And...you did play volleyball at the dacha with the neighbors. That's just one step closer to badminton.
ReplyDelete