Moscow Apartment Hunt

7:45 p.m.: Moscow, Russia

Sometimes you just raise the bar a little too high.

I thought I could successfully locate 3 flats in a city of 12 million in 3 or 4 days.

But you know, there's nothing like a little xenophobia to liven things up.  I thought I had successfully located a flat for one of my co-workers until the babushka landlady called me.

Babushka:  "You wanted the flat?"
Me: "Yes I'm interested."
Babushka: "Will you rent it for two years?  I don't want a short term contract."
Me:  "I think for sure one year, but I have to look at the place first."
Babushka: "Who exactly will live there?"
Me: "Actually, it's not for me; it's for one of my co-workers.  She's a single American woman."
Babushka: [Pause] "I really wouldn't want to rent out to Americans.  Would you be interested in renting?"
Me: [Control of snicker] "I don't think my family with four children would be comfortable in your one room flat."
[Sound of phone hanging up in ear].

You might be indignant at this.  I reckon after so many years here I just find it funny.  And I can assure you that the babushka landlady is in the minority. I can't say as I can blame her either since she's heard so many less than positive things that have been victoriously trumpeted from her television set for so many years about Americans.  Some of those things are true. For instance, most Americans don't know how to read bus stop schedules.

I've ridden Moscow's world famous subway system and walked countless miles this week just to view some of the world's most interesting wallpaper choices.  I've mastered the deadpan phrase: "I suppose wallpaper is a question of personal taste."  This comment, followed by a small clearing of the throat and then a long pause is an important first step in the bargaining process.

Probably the main advertising scam is "how many minutes walk the flat is from the subway stop".  Just today I was in a flat that had fancy steps up to a Jacuzzi and a mini-bar, but also a mish-mash of various wallpapers and paints peeling off the walls.  The real estate agent said, "And it's only a 3 minute walk to the subway."  I had just timed it on my watch at 9 minutes.  So I said, "I just walked here from the subway.  I suppose if I were to take part in the Olympics I could also make it here in 3 minutes."

It's a little early to claim "meat in the pan" on the apartment hunt, but it looks like we've found 2 of the necessary 3 flats.  Not too shabby.  This weekend, more rides on the subway, walking, and hopefully less intriguing conversation and views of fascinating remodeling options and more of signing contracts.